The 10 Things You Should Never Tell Your Kids When They're Struggling with Practice

(read this, even if you don't have kids!)

As parents, our role extends beyond providing food and shelter; we are also instrumental in nurturing our children's self-esteem, motivation, and overall growth. While it's natural to want to support and encourage them through challenges, the words we choose can have a profound impact on their mindset and development. In this blog post, we'll explore two sides of the coin—negative remarks and seemingly positive yet harmful comments—that we should avoid when our kids are struggling with practice. We'll also provide constructive alternatives that pave the way for a healthier and more positive learning environment.

Negative Remarks:

1. Harmful: "You're just not cut out for this."

Helpful: "Every skill takes time to master. Keep practicing, and you'll improve."

2. Harmful: "Why can't you do it like [someone else]?"

Helpful: "You have your unique strengths. Let's work on improving at your own pace."

3. Harmful: "You're not trying hard enough."

Helpful: "I can see you're putting in effort. Let's find strategies to make it easier."

4. Harmful: "You're embarrassing yourself."

Helpful: "Mistakes are part of learning. Let's figure out what went wrong and how to fix it."

5. Harmful: "You'll never get any better."

Helpful: "Progress might be slow, but you're making strides. Keep up the good work."

Seemingly Positive Yet Harmful Comments:

6. Harmful: "You're so talented, you should find this easy!"

Helpful: "Even the most talented individuals face challenges. Your effort will lead to progress."

7. Harmful: "You're the best at this; why are you struggling?"

Helpful: "Struggles are part of everyone's journey. Let's work through this together."

8. Harmful: "You're smarter than this; figure it out."

Helpful: "Problem-solving takes time. Let's break it down step by step."

9. Harmful: "You're a perfectionist; this should be perfect."

Helpful: "Perfection isn't the goal. Let's focus on progress and learning."

10. Harmful: "You have to excel at everything; keep pushing."

Helpful: "It's okay to struggle. Let's embrace challenges as opportunities."

When our children are facing challenges, our words can either be a powerful source of encouragement or a deterrent to their growth. Instead of using negative language that demotivates and discourages, or seemingly positive phrases that create unrealistic expectations, let's choose constructive language that emphasizes the importance of effort, progress, and learning from mistakes. By fostering a positive attitude towards challenges, we empower our kids to approach difficulties with resilience and a growth-oriented mindset, setting them on a path towards lifelong learning and personal development.

PS: You don't have kids, you say? No problem. Use the information above and apply it to yourself when you're practicing! Be supportive, not harmful. Remember, that voice in your head saying mean things to you only needs some love. ;)

The Practical Power of Learning Music Notation

Have you ever felt like deciphering a musical code while looking at sheet music? Learning music notation is like cracking that code and gaining access to a world of musical treasures. Whether you're starting out or an experienced musician, understanding music notation can profoundly impact your musical journey.

**1. Clear Communication**

Music notation is the language all musicians understand. It bridges cultural gaps, letting musicians communicate across borders. Like reading a map to explore new places, reading sheet music introduces you to compositions from various genres and eras.

**2. Accuracy and Precision**

Think of music notation as a recipe for your favorite dish. It provides exact ingredients and instructions for the musical experience. This precision ensures that the piece is played as intended, preserving its authenticity.

**3. Room for Creativity**

While structured, music notation leaves space for creativity. Like a coloring book with guidelines, it lets you infuse your style. As you grasp the basics, you can compose, arrange, and bring your musical ideas to life.

**4. Lifelong Learning**

Learning music notation is an evolving skill. From beginner scales to intricate compositions, it's a journey that deepens your understanding. It's a path of continuous growth, expanding your grasp of music theory.

**5. Seamless Collaboration**

In group performances, music notation acts as a shared script. It facilitates collaboration, ensuring musicians sync effortlessly. Whether a jam session or orchestra performance, music notation keeps everyone on track.

**6. Classical Exploration**

Classical music boasts timeless gems that shaped the art. Music notation lets you access this treasure trove. From Beethoven to Bach, you can explore and interpret classical works, delving into music's history.

**7. Elevating Your Journey**

Whether you're a pianist, guitarist, or vocalist, mastering music notation enhances your musical path. It equips you to play intricate pieces, compose, and deeply connect with your art.

In your musical journey, learning music notation is the key that unlocks melodies waiting to be heard. Grab your sheet music, dive in, and start translating those notes into magic. Your musical adventure starts now.

**References**:

1. Gerou, Tom, and Linda Lusk. *Essential Dictionary of Music Notation*. Alfred Music, 1996.

2. Phillips, Mark. *Music Notation: A Manual of Modern Practice*. Berklee Press, 2011.

Bridging Music, Psychology, and Education: My Journey as an Author

I wanted to take a moment to delve into the origins of my passion for writing the "Billie and Muso" series, and how my background as a music teacher and educational psychologist has deeply influenced my approach.

Having spent years in both the world of music education and psychology, I've witnessed firsthand the incredible impact that music can have on young minds. It's not just about playing notes; it's about fostering growth, creativity, and confidence. As a music teacher, I've seen students transform as they conquer challenges and embrace a growth mindset.

This fixation with the growth mindset is what led me to create "Billie and Muso." In these books, our characters face various obstacles, but they approach them with determination and the belief that they can learn, adapt, and overcome. It's a philosophy that's deeply rooted in educational psychology - the idea that our abilities and intelligence are not fixed, but rather malleable with effort and learning.

But it's not just about the characters' growth. Socratic learning, a method of inquiry and discussion, plays a significant role in the series. Billie and her friends often find themselves facing questions that prompt them to think critically, explore new perspectives, and collaborate to find solutions. This mirrors the Socratic approach, encouraging young readers to engage actively with the text and reflect on its themes.

As an author, my goal is to blend music, psychology, and education to create stories that not only entertain but also inspire and empower. Through "Billie and Muso," I hope to ignite curiosity, foster a love for learning, and instill a belief that challenges are opportunities for growth.

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me. I'm excited to continue sharing stories that combine the magic of music with the power of education.

Joao Figueiredo

www.musiclabschool.co.uk/billie-and-muso